indi Poetry

i have never been able to walk past that day

i have never been able to walk past that day

and put flowers in a vase filled with crystal clear water

or laugh looking up at a blameless blue sky

or sigh at the thought of innocent unbroken love

no, none of the above

 

i have never been able to walk past that day

and stay on the road looking straight up ahead

or feel the rapture of breeze on my face

or run into arms of all absolving love

no, none of the above

 

i have never been able to walk past that day

without feeling the slowing down of breath

or my feet turning to unliftable lead

or the sting of tears at the back of my lids

or the wrenching within, the hacking of love

all of the above

 

i have never been able to walk past that day

 

 

 

there might be a day like this in your life… these days are there, they exist, no amount of time or talk or happiness finds its way around them and maybe that is alright or maybe not but they are there and i would like to own mine as mine even if i feel myself die as i do. just read jim morrison on pain again… yeah “your feelings are a part of you. your own reality. if you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality.”

 

 

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  • ladkikijhy@gmail.com'
    Ladki Kijhy
    April 20, 2015 at 7:26 am

    Can I tell you that this resonated with me? Last some days, there’s been this feeling of not being oneself. Not knowing what is wrong. Only time when something connected was when I landed up on our thread, and read one of our dives into madness and laughed! Yes, there are days, more than one perhaps, pain which doesn’t feature at the fore most days, but hide somewhere in the shadows.

    • indrani robbins
      April 21, 2015 at 12:35 pm

      in the shadows, in the cells, embedded… no point trying to get rid of it, perhaps it’s ours essentially… exists because we do. thanks, lady k. you are not feeling quite like your “normal” self sorry to hear. slowly but surely that feeling will return… i have a feeling. thank you so much for reading this one, part of me.